Feeling Blah

Haven't been around the web in a while.  I think I'm in one my ruts.

I haven't even really felt like playing WoW much.  I logged on to my characters when I realized it was a holiday, plus WoW's 7th anniversary, but I haven't really felt like playing.  Thanksgiving has been a bit of a distraction, too.

I'm aware that I'm coming to the end of the month and I haven't been composing any music, either.  Blah.

Blah, blah, blag, blarg. That's what I feel like right now.


I've done some real-world work.  Did some housecleaning and organizing. Not a whole lot, though, but enough that I was willing to let relatives visit the house. I have been working on my financial statements; it's been MONTHS since I balanced my checkbook, and my goodness, I have spent a lot of money at McDonald's.

I'm not pushing myself to do anything right now.  I think it's good that I'm willing to take a break from WoW.  Everytime I've taken a break, it;s been sudden like this.  I just stop logging in.  Then I stop thinking about it.  A bit like an addiction wearing off.  I stopped playing for a couple of days because of some books I bought while I was on vacation; I really wanted to finish reading them, so that's what I did in my spare time.  Didn't even occur to me that I could've been fishing while reading.

It's nice to be on a break.

I've been playing around on the piano the last week.  Not practicing or studying, just playing.  I used to do that to relax.  I hated in college how I had to practice the piano; it turned it into something unfun.  Now, when I get on the piano, I can tell I'm not as good as I used to be, though.  I wasn't very good even at my best, so now I'm simply awful.  But at least it's become fun again.

And you know what? Now that it's fun, I feel bad that my skill level is so low.  It makes me want to practice so I can play more music.  But practice is unfun...

I do miss the structure of school.  It was a great motivator, and a way to measure progress.  This blog is my newest way to measure progress outside of school, and so far, it's been the most effective, even if I'm about to miss my end-of-the-month deadline.  I have stuck with the blog longer than any other record system.

Even so, I just feel blah right now.

If I actually had a job writing music, I would have to force myself through this. But right now, I can't convince myself that forcing myself is a good idea right now.  I'm tired.  This hasn't been a very stress-free week, with all the family stuff and working in retail.  I hate working in retail this time of the year.  I have no energy when I come home, which contributes to the non-WoW playing.  I barely have enough energy to read, and I'm feeling very lethargic about even writing this post. Blarg.  

I have been sleeping away the last few days.  I have been amazed at how sleepy I have been. I wonder if I've been eating properly; the McDonalds can't be helping.  I just haven't had the motivation to make a lunch, though.

I have Wednesday and Thursday off from work.  Will I write something? Even I don't know.

I hope I do.