I’ve
gotten better at driving away bad dreams, but they occasionally can
come back if something triggers them. Let me tell you, trying to get
ready for the Armistice Day Ball is definitely a trigger. Putting up
with my mother and her balls and parties are some of the worst memories I
have from that part of my life, especially the last one I went to.
Though
I have to admit it’s quite different when I’m the one in charge. I’m
making the decisions instead of having someone else tell me what to do,
where to go, and what to wear. I find myself automatically thinking
about whom I should talk with to help keep things smooth and wondering
what I should know about them. I’m starting to think I owe Ma a little
bit of an apology. She really did try to get me involved with the
planning and taught me some useful things… I just wasn’t very
enthusiastic about her endgame. When it comes to the AAMS, however, I
guess actually caring about the goal helps.