Avoidance

Kezrin arrived first. She tapped her foot nervously. She was worried that if she weren’t at the spot precisely on time, Renzly would leave. Assuming she was even going to come.

It’d taken less effort than she thought to get in contact. Renzly wasn’t hiding; her coworkers had pointed out they’d seen her often enough at the Lounge, though only on nights when Kezrin herself wasn’t there. Solendenus had been willing to deliver a message. There’d been no reply.



Perhaps she should have picked another locale. The tavern in Ratchet wasn’t overly crowded, but it was a touch close to the AAMS offices.

At last, a figured entered who matched the hazy depiction her messed-up memory provided: dark haired, short, and lean. Her eyes scanned the crowd, settling on Kezrin with a chill. There was a moment’s pause before Renzly walked her way.

“Kezrin.” She greeted flatly. The name sounded wrong. “Whaddaya want? I ain’t got all day.”

“P-please? Sit? I just - have some questions.”

Renzly dropped into a chair, crossing her arms and continuing her icy stare. “I answered yer questions, didn’t I?”

Kezrin took a deep breath, unwilling to look away. “Ya lied.”

Renzy flinched. She regarded Kezrin with a guarded, cautious look. “I lie all the time. Ya care ta be more specific?”

“Ya know more than ya said ya did,” Kezrin blurted. “I don’t know who else ta turn to. I want ta remember!”

“Do ya?” the rogue spat out harshly. “Seems ta me that yer doin’ jus’ fine without that part of yer life gettin’ in yer way. Maybe yer better off withou’ it.”

Kezrin shrunk into herself at the scorn and accusation in Renzly’s voice, looking down at the table. The tips of her fingers dug into the wood of her chair, anchoring her in place.

“I hafta know,” she eeked out quietly.

“Hafta know what?”

She looked back up. Renzly’s hard stare was unreadable. It bore into her; searching? Suddenly whatever answer she was going to give felt like it’d be the wrong one.

“I…” Further words failed to come forth.

“Forget it,” Renzly said with exasperation. Then, with a snort, “Again.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Why?” she snapped. “Ya don’t know what yer apologizing for. Ya don’t even know what ya want. Didja jus’ expect ta come here, have a nice conversation and make things magically better? Maybe, just maybe has it occurred ta ya that I don’t want ta remember?”

“I’m -” Kezrin clenched her teeth before the second word could escape again. Her face burned.

“That’s what I thought. So why don’t we go back ta what worked. You go back ta yer life, I get back ta mine.” She got up to leave.

“Renzly! Wait!” Kezrin stood quickly to stop her. “Please. Just one question.”

Renzly slowly turned back to the table. “One question.” There was an odd, pained edge to the reply.

“Did I… kill someone?” she asked in barely above a whisper.

No answer. She stared fretfully at Renzly, who seemed to be sizing her up.

“Ya don’t remember that?” Renzly said at last. “No. Of course ya don’t. What do ya remember?”

Kezrin sank back into her chair. “Axe- Axelhammer. I... I remember him dyin’. And you were there. And I think I did it, but… it’s fuzzy. Oh, light, it’s not a dream, is it?”

“It wasn’t your fault,” Renzly interjected firmly.

“It wasn’t?”

“No.” She rested one hand on a dagger. “He was comin’ ta take ya back to the cartel, and I wouldn’t let ‘im.”

“What happened?”

There was another long pause while Renzly considered her words.

“Ya told me ta let ‘im go, and I didn’t. There was a fight, and he died by my dagger.” She looked Kezrin squarely in the eyes. “I killed him.”

A tiny weight lifted from Kezrin’s shoulders. He was still dead, but not because she’d been the one to kill him. Not directly. “He’s still dead ‘cause of me.” She returned to staring at the table.

“If ya believe nothin’ else I tell ya, Goldie, remember that ya ain’t a killer.”

“T-thanks, I s’ppose.” This time common sense prevented her from speaking, And you are.

Renzly sighed at her. “Stop stutterin’ and get yerself together. And don’t come askin’ me any more stupid questions, ‘cause I ain’t answerin’. Bye, Kezrin.”

“Goodbye, Renzly.”

Kezrin lifted her head, but the rogue was gone.